This clip is from the CMLL league in Mexico city, the man in the monkey outfit is KeMonito, a brave little person wrestler. This video shows a player's dedication to the noble art of luchador wrestling. KeMonito is a positive role model to us all.
And so, here we are, on the second game of the Cueto cup. The variety of the matchups in tonight’s show was interesting to say the least. The Cueto cup is shaping up to be more important and amazing than the Stanley Cup and the World Cup. And so the matches were:
Cage Vs. Vinnie Massarro
Though I fear nothing but the beautiful chaos of the universe, I feel it would be frightening to irritate Cage. As for Vinnie, Vinnie is a meat ball man. A spaghetti and meatball man. He is a man made of spaghetti o’s and Cage pulverized him, and Vinnie can do nothing, because of the ancient Italian law of omerta. Vinnie is made of lasagna as well, and when Cage won, he kept hitting him with that Metal glove thing that looks like it has magic or something. I realized with Cage he is not a man, but a crushing machine. Cage won fair and square, but I hope Vinnie lives another day to go back to his home that is made of pizza.
Marty “The Moth” Vs. Saltador
When that freakazoid the Moth came out people were chanting his name, and I was like “What the fuck?” I missed a huge chunk of episodes but I had no idea people liked him, I always thought he was a real grade A weirdo. Anywho, Saltador came out, and his costume gives you a headache, which is brilliant as a tactical thing. So the match goes and I must say, The Moth has moves and while Saltador made me extremely uncomfortable, he was doing all kinds of acrobatic moves as well, but again, he makes me uncomfortable. In fact, the whole match seemed uncomfortable. The Moth is clearly in a bad mental place, for which he needs help, and he would do “crazy” things like banging his head on the mat, and making weird faces at Melissa, the announcer girl, which crazy or not is simply uncalled for. The Moth is in need of psychiatric help, hopefully that will happen somehow before anyone gets really hurt. He won. Melissa didn’t seem happy.
Pindar Vs. Mascareda Sagrada
Look, Mascareda Sagrada is a little person, a brave little person, and Pindar is a hulking guy with a reptile mask. Naturally, seeing them fight it is like seeing a lizard man trying to catch a mouse man. It just does, then Vampyro even mentions it. I dunno, I feel bad for thinking that. But anyway, Mascareda had all the moves, he tried by golly he tried, but at the end of the day he was no match for the brute force of Pindar. Also, at the beginning of the match Pindar threw Mascareda around like a doll, I admit, I laughed.
Which brings us to the main event:
Mariposa Vs. Fenix
Mariposa’s whole vibe is like a Wonder Woman level of power, and she certainly held her own against Fenix. Fenix did his best to be a gentleman about the game, but when Mariposa kind of insisted they fight, he did hit her in the face a lot, which is not gentlemanly at all, but hey this is luchador wrestling, this isn’t a fairy tale. So Fenix wins, then The Moth bursts into the ring and tries to beat him up but Fenix incapacitates him, and Melissa, who apparently loves Fenyx, looked a tad romantically excited if you know what I mean.
And so that was game two of the Cueto cup. I feel, socially, it was an important game because a little person, a person with a severe mental illness, a woman, and the men were all treated as equals: as noble and not so noble warriors trying to get the most important cup since the holy grail. Next week Mil Muertes is in the line up so that should be fun. Until next time:
Love,
Naz Red