I once created something hideous and horrible to unleash on the world when I was an angry young mad scientist who was just starting out, it’s name was Qwocky. Qwocky was very stupid and annoying and irritating. Whenever Qwocky would walk into a room, he would say “It’s Qwocky time!” When you would ask Qwocky to leave, he would turn around and hit the wall and shake and go “doyyyyyy” like a true idiot. These were just several of many dumb things Qwocky would do. My plan was to set up a meeting between Qwocky and an agent who would see Qwocky’s mass appeal to the general public and they would give him a show and an album and through Qwocky’s sheer abrasive stupidness infecting the world, society would collapse and the world would end. I have since realized the error of wanting such a thing to happen. I realized that instead of making things that will hurt the world, I want to make things that will help it. So I had Qwocky euthanized and turned into sandwiches that I gave to some homeless people. I was sad, because apart of me kind of came to like Qwocky and appreciate his Tati-esque physical comedy like when he would slip on jam or jelly and fall back accompanied with the sound of a kazoo, but the other part of me was glad he was giving nourishment to those that are less fortunate then I. The moral of the story is we should all do our part to make the world a better place. It’s like, hey man, don’t unleash a monster out on the world man, turn that monster into a sandwich so homeless alcoholics and crackheads can eat it.
